About Us – Survival Food and Gear
Survival food and gear for long and short term emergencies
ReadyWise Storage & Survival Information
We deliver the latest news, education, and insights on survival, ensuring you stay informed and prepared. Our dedication lies in offering premium quality long and short term storage foods and survival gear, all at prices that won’t break the bank. Our product range primarily features the trusted ReadyWise storage solutions.
Why Choose ReadyWise Storage?
The Wise Company stands out with its groundbreaking approach to delivering reliable, straightforward, and cost-effective ready-made freeze-dried and dehydrated products. These goods are perfect for emergency preparedness and outdoor adventures. With a focus on convenience and durability, ReadyWise products ensure you are equipped for any situation life throws your way.
Survival Food Storage Buckets and Survival Gear
All the details you need to know. If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to send us an email.
Amidst the chaos of a full-blown emergency, it would be challenging for your friends, neighbors, and local community to be aware of our survival food company. That’s why we enlisted extraterrestrial beings to help run the show! Yes, you will have the unique opportunity to meet and converse with us one-on-one if you choose to do so. We have traveled to numerous gun shows, sold our food and forged many friendships. It’s a partnership that has proven successful in both business and camaraderie.
SMALL FAMILY-RUN BUSINESS
We are a small family-run business, and our owner has a background in law enforcement and investigations. It’s challenging for us to compete with large companies in the emergency supply business, so we take pride in our exceptional customer service and competitive prices.
HUMAN STAFF
Yes, there are a few humans who supervise the alien staff. Don’t worry, we have you covered.
MEET THE STAFF
SURVIVAL FOOD & GEAR STAFF
Lapis Lazuli – Chief Apocalypse Wrangler
It’s a widely held belief that humans are born pure and good… which is adorable, really, until you meet a politician, a bad actor, or anyone who thinks pineapple belongs on pizza.
2026: Aliens invade. Zombies rise… and somehow, they’re humanity’s only hope. Don’t worry, it’s not War of the Worlds—more like Survival Food and Gear meets The Walking Dead: The Aliens’ Edition. We promise, the stories on this site are 100% fictional, slightly sarcastic, and guaranteed to make you laugh while you stock up on beer, I mean beans. See rule number three.
Zorg
Artificial Intelligence Overlord – Calculates survival probabilities with 99.97% accuracy… and the remaining 0.03% is reserved for judging your questionable snack choices. Speaks in binary when annoyed.
- “I may be AI, but even I question your tinfoil hat strategy.”
- “I monitor aliens, zombies, and humans… humans are the most unpredictable.”
Riddick Rinya
Customer Relations V.P.
Riddick joined our team after predicting the imminent corporate takeover of Earth and realizing that humans need a guide to navigate interstellar bureaucracy and intergalactic tax audits.
He carries three notebooks at all times: one for complaints, one for prophecy, and one that’s completely blank for mysterious reasons. He has a knack for convincing extraterrestrials to fill out satisfaction surveys and has personally argued with a Martian about the correct way to open a tin of beans.
Samara Sarek
Sales and Marketing
Chief Zombie Liaison – Samara the Slightly Undead Grobnar coordinates our undead relations and keeps our zombie allies from accidentally eating our customers. She once taught a group of zombies how to politely RSVP to an invasion and has personally refereed countless disputes over who gets the last can of “protein slop.”
Tenenial Thane Creative Design
Tenenial is the mysterious, silent force behind our universe-defying graphics, typography, and occasionally cryptic Pinterest boards. He meditates constantly, speaks in riddles, and once spent three days aligning text on a label with the gravitational pull of Saturn.
He frequently consults his crystal ball for color palette decisions, and he believes that a well-placed pixel can save humanity.
ReadyWise Gold Standard of Quality
Best in Class Partners
READYWISE QUALITY PACKAGING PARTNER
ExxonMobil Chemical is a global leader in the petrochemical industry, applying breakthrough proprietary technology to create products that enhance the quality of life for people around the world.
THE SCIENCE BEHIND WISE COMPANY PACKAGING
ReadyWise uses an ultra-high barrier film for its packaging called Metallyte™ metalized oriented polypropylene (OPP). This film is designed to provide optimum protection for oxygen and moisture sensitive products with long shelf-life requirements. It has an exceptional barrier to oxygen, flavors, and aromas and has an excellent water vapor barrier.
ReadyWise performs regular testing to ensure that its packaging meets or exceeds industry standards for quality. To the right are the latest results of packages tested at random as recent as March of 2015.
READYWISE FOOD SAFETY & QUALITY PARTNER
Silliker commits itself to provide a complete solution to help food services, catering and distributors to ensure the safety and quality of their products while improving and protecting their brands.
Oxygen Levels:
Potential Moisture Penetration:
* Analytical results from 29 pouches tested by Silliker Labs from 2/03/15 – 2/26/15. COA # CHG-37837217-0 & CHG-37837216-0. COA Date: 3/16/15.
† Results from various pouches tested by ExxonMobil.
