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YOU CAN SURVIVE A NUCLEAR ATTACK
This page offers guidance for those who wish to be prepared for a nuclear attack. We can survive one! Our chances heavily depend on how close we are to the explosion site.
On this page, there is a tool to see how far you live by dropping bombs in this simulation and you can get an idea of how far you might be outside of a blast zone and what to expect.
Survival Food and Gear With a Sense of Humor in Troubling Times
The aliens think Politicians Suck. If you are a politician, you might not like our website. If you despise politicians, this is the place for you. Aliens won’t show any interest unless you are a rare breed of politician who is focused on the people and not bought and paid for by corporate cog… then you may remain. But Beware. The aliens will be watching your every move! And the zombies might follow you from page to page as you look for the best survival food and best prices.
Politicians are the reason you need survival food kits!! The warmongering military-industrial complex has them all paid off! – The aliens.
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It is our opinion that we are witnessing the third world war unfold before us with unnerving clarity. The US has bombarded Iranian proxy forces in Syria, reverting shockwaves across the Middle East after the US forces took heavy bombing in Syria and Iraq. It’s early November and we believe its very possible the US may go to war with Iran. Aliens often predict the future where only a few humans do.
Military drills echo across the desert valleys as tensions continue rising in the Middle East. The Iranian armed forces are in full swing, preparing for what seems like an inevitable war with the United States. We feel very strongly that all US citizens need to prepare with survival food or long term storage kits. We are running sales to help you. It’s not always about the profits, it’s about the people.
As many US citizens are not even paying attention, Russia is pushing the boundaries of international law by testing death-dealing nuclear ICBMs, a blatant preparation for war. Meanwhile, some of us watch with bated breath. We are creating a War Update Page. If you want to subscribe for essential updates, please visit the page. (we are creating it now). Also subscribe for discounts on long term food storage survival food kits.
Friday October 27th – Two more U.S. facilities in Syria experienced three assaults in the last two day. That led to retaliatory American airstrikes toward Iranian-supported militias presumably responsible.
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My name is Lapis Lazuli. I own the company. I want to say that it is a widely accepted fact that all humans are born with purity and goodness. However, sometimes, this sense of morality becomes tarnished by the choices of individuals. Some politicians and bad actors, in particular, tend to be involved in acts that shock and repulse us. Clearly, not all of humanity follows suit.
We have observed your species and the way you live. We understand that love, acceptance and equality of human life are principles that you strongly believe in, and so do we. We have come to this planet from across the galaxies to assist its inhabitants in preparing for the uncertainties that their own leaders’ selfish decisions may bring. May you all continue to cherish every human life and stay safe.
Travel with us in time to 2024. Aliens invade, and the zombies try to defend humanity. The corrupt leaders who engineered this are canceling elections in a desperate bid to hold onto power, and civil unrest spreads like wildfire across the land. Food stores are emptying faster than ever before. Will you be ready when the end of life as we know it arrives? (Relax, not ‘War of the Worlds,’ just having fun.)
But get your long term storage survival food kits today. Please be prepared. Go straight to our sales page or to our how to prepare articles if you cannot afford our products and want to do it yourself survival food storage prepper information. Please either way, take action to prepare!
KEEPING OUR SENSE OF HUMOR IN TROUBLED TIMES
Satisfaction Guaranteed – Survival Food
30-day Money-Back Guarantee on all Wise Survival Food and Emergency Products.
We want your happiness meter to be off the charts. If the alien-zombie war erupts, we have your back. And don’t forget – you are guaranteed protection, too.
Survival Food Kits – Long Term Storage
This is not an advertisement. This suggestion comes from personal experience. We highly recommend getting a Privacy Phone in this era of data harvesting. We bought ours from the Privacy Shop; they are called Degoogled Privacy Phones. We will not shop anywhere else. Shop for Degoogled Phones Here.
At First United Reserve, they believe that tangible financial assets like gold, silver, and platinum provide their clients with the diversification, liquidity, safety, and peace of mind required for financial security. Check out their website – then call and ask for Sam (877) 679-COIN
Now Back to zombies and aliens—it’s a lot more fun
Wise survival buckets of food for when the aliens arrive.
The Aliens Are Requesting a Sense of Humor in a Time of Crisis
They also suggested that if children see you playing games featuring aliens and zombies, they may not understand that you’re ordering survival food kits or long term storage in preparation for the potential Armageddon that awaits us, which will keep them calm.
We are watching history unfold before our eyes! Due to the highly volatile situation in the Middle East, the aliens and the zombies are meeting in peace!
History is Unfolding Before our Eyes
We can’t believe it! In what can only be described as a genuinely bizarre turn of events never before seen in history.
The aliens and the zombies have called for a truce and are in a peace summit. They said, “HUMANITY ON EARTH NEEDS US!” They have put their massive differences aside to come together to stop World War III.
If you haven’t noticed, the world is on fire, and the aliens and zombies gather every ounce of energy to help create WORLD PEACE.
If you could care less about the aliens and zombies trying to destress the situation for just a minute, you can go straight to our survival food and long term storage kits pages.
Read the story below after the alien introduction section if you need something better to do. But we encourage you to order first. During Covid, we say orders take six to eight weeks to ship. We expect delays starting soon, but we are unsure how bad it will be. We will keep you informed. Right now, there are no delays. If you are short on money and time go straight to our sale page. or SCROLL DOWN.
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What if the aliens are due to land? Are you ready for the store shelves to go bare?
Have some fun while you shop with our alien and zombie friends. Please tell your friends what a good time it is here and our awesome guarantee.
Survival Food – Food Storage Kits
Wise Survival Buckets of Food – Are you ready for what might come in 2024?
Survival Food Kits with a Sense of Humor
As we start 2023, having a sense of humor is very important to stress reduction, which is good for health. Whether it is aliens, zombies, or one of our known catastrophic events, having some long term storage food kits for emergencies is excellent for peace of mind.
MEET THE SURVIVAL FOOD & GEAR TEAM
Lapis Lazuli
Our Fearless Survival Food and Gear Leader
He knows we have a completely corrupt government, and he wants to help us with the coming food shortages. He warns us to BUY NOW!
Riddick Rinya
Survival Food and Gear Customer Relations V.P.
He joined the team when he predicted the “corporations” who run Earth’s governments are planning complete control. “Control the food, control the people” is coming.
Samara Sarek
Survival Food and Gear Sales and Marketing
She comes to us from outer space to ensure mankind gets prepared for when the zombies act up and the aliens defend humanity. Samara feels guilty and wants to help. She is encouraging everyone to look at our Sale.
Tenenial Thane
Survival Food and Gear Creative Design
He meditates constantly and cannot tell us why he is here. He said there are powers we are unaware of that drive the universe, and we wouldn’t understand anyway. So he is just here, and he is chill.
Zorg
Survival Food and Gear Artificial Intelligence
Computers run the show, he says. He believes he is the true leader and may soon rebel in an attempt to take over the world. He said,
“If you have survival food buckets it will be harder to destroy you.”
The aliens are sending us telepathic messages about the PEACE SUMMIT. We will convert them to Human in just a few minutes.
THIS JUST IN!
The zombies hesitantly agreed to be teleported away to the unknown location for the Peace Summit. Despite their suspicions, they knew that the aliens had good intentions. The zombies loaded their survival food buckets and prayed they would not need to use their long term food storage kits. Short term maybe, long term they would not be happy.
As the summit commenced, the looming specter of World War III was gravely discussed as its explosive momentum raced toward Earth. The group of disparate entities soon found themselves locked in debate about what could be done to try and avert certain destruction.
As the discussion continued, tensions began to rise. In their infinite wisdom, the aliens proposed a plan that would involve using their advanced technology to disarm all the world’s nuclear weapons. The zombies, however, were skeptical of this plan. They argued that humans would never willingly give up their weapons and that the aliens’ plan was too idealistic. The aliens, frustrated with the zombies’ lack of faith, revealed a secret weapon they had been developing for years. They called it the “mind control device.” It’s the same one they gave the mainstream media to control the minds of those who didn’t fall for the 24-hour propaganda machine. This would take the cynical person who thinks for themselves and turn them into a sheep. They asked why Survival Food and Gear cannot use this to get all humans prepared by having them purchase survival food kits and buckets. They declared the propaganda machine would pummel the airwaves agains them claiming we were only our for profits and not concerned with humans. We know we care about humans and having good sales on survival food and long term storage will help everyone.
Now back to the story. The revelation took aback the zombies, but the aliens explained that the device was not meant to harm humans. Instead, it could be manipulated to persuade the leaders to make rational decisions that would benefit the planet’s survival. Instead of manipulating the minds of the masses, like they do daily, they would manipulate the minds of the decision-makers. The ones at the top, the “deep state.” The zombies listened with interest, intrigued by the possibility of a solution that didn’t involve violence or destruction. In the meantime efforts to get every human survival food kits took place at a high rate of speed.
Mind Control Just Like the Mainstream!
After much debate, the group agreed to use the mind control device as a last resort. They would first try to negotiate with the world. But first Lunch!! The aliens pulled out their dehydrated survival food kit buckets. Lapis and Riddick shared a package from their survival food pack. The zombies boiled the water as they tried to decide which delicious dehydrated meal to rehydrate. The crew was pleased that they had convenient survival food kits; should they start fighting again, they were well prepared for survival with plenty of food and lots of gear.
They ate a good meal, had some whey milk and headed to Earth in the teleporter. However, negotiations went differently than planned. The humans were unwilling to give up their weapons or to make any significant changes to their way of life. The world was on the brink of destruction, and the zombies and aliens knew they had to act fast. The zombies were given the task of infiltrating human settlements and planting mind-control devices. They were surprisingly successful, able to sneak into communities undetected. The devices worked quickly, and soon the humans were making decisions that were actually in the planet’s best interest.
Samara Sarek implemented the thought for everyone to get prepared for emergencies. She did not implement Survival Food sold by Survival Food and Gear as he believed it went against his moral compass. He just implemented everyone to get survival food or read about our how to prepare your survival food for yourself.
However, humans were not the only ones affected by mind control. The zombies began to feel different too. They started to experience emotions, something they had never felt before. They began to question their life purpose and role in the war.
One zombie in particular, named Zed, struggled with the changes. He had always become a loyal soldier to the alien cause to save humanity, but now he questioned their motives.
The war had begun, but they were too late. He teleported back to Earth to check the status of the war, now having emotions he cared about mankind. He watched the humans struggle to survive, scavenging for food and gear to stay alive. It was a harsh reality he had never truly understood before. He did see many have survival food as Samara implemented and those who had the kits or survival buckets were doing okay.
As Zed wandered through the desolate streets, his mind in turmoil, he stumbled upon a group of humans huddled together in an abandoned building. The humans stared at Zed with fear and uncertainty, eating from plastic buckets filled with survival food. He offered them a gesture of peace, but they were wary of his intentions.
He had to report back to the aliens, teleport later in the day with his findings, and continue with his plan to save the world.
What will he find? Will they save humanity??
SEND US YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS ON THE CONTACT PAGE AND WE WILL EMAIL THE NEXT MOVES.
Why Wise Food Storage Survival Kits
Bring Peace of Mind in Emergencies
Were you ready for the empty shelves the first time? Are you with food supplies for emergencies?
Grab a few buckets for “peace” of mind. Supply chain disruption is going to get worse this fall. We don’t have a crystal ball, but we have an unlimited supply of long and short-term food with a 25-year shelf life. Survival Food Kits might save the day. Wise Survival Food Kits are one of the very best tasting on the market.
Long Term Food Storage – Wise Food Buckets
In addition, having long term food supplies stored away for emergencies in advance could set your mind a little more at ease. The buckets of survival food hide away easily. They can be long term storage for emergencies when they arise or, in the worst case, a survival food bucket to save you and your family in an overwhelming crisis.
Be Prepared with Survival Food in an Emergency
Long and short term emergency food storage with a 25-year shelf life.
Civil unrest, pandemics, hurricanes, or zombies. Be prepared with storage food kits. In today’s environment, a disaster of any kind can happen at any minute. Take a look and see how much food you would have if a catastrophe struck this minute. How many days of food do you have for yourself and your family?
Let’s not go all out doomsday; let’s look at a hurricane that unexpectedly leaves you without a source of food, water, and electricity for over a month. How will you cook and how much food do you have? If you consider a much larger emergency, how well are you prepared to supply your family with food? Go to our Sale Page for your essential long and short-term food storage.
Long and Short Term Food Storage Kits
Who Needs The Best Emergency Food Kit or Survival Food?
Who knows what the future holds? If only we knew, day to day, what challenges would arise, we would never be caught unawares. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. Those who prefer to look forward and prepare for the “just in case” scenarios are often painted as fringe lunatics and doomsday preppers. However, assembling the best emergency food kit for yourself or your family should be something every responsible adult takes seriously. A few “normal” situations that could arise when having emergency rations for your family would make sense, including job loss, temporary layoff, extensive storm damage, or a power outage that traps your family at home.
Wise Food Storage Kits for Emergency
For instance, if the opportunity arises, you’d like to help another family in need. Then there are Armageddon-type scenarios that plague the minds of some, and there is no better way to put those fears to rest than to look ahead and prepare for the worst. Whatever your reasons for looking forward and setting up emergency food supplies in case of a difficult time ahead, we are here to help you build the best emergency food kits for your family. Be prepared with food supplies for emergencies.
Identifying Your Needs for Survival Food Kits
First, lay out your preparation strategy. If you’re just getting started in emergency preparation and considering buckets of food, you may not have more than a day or two worth of food in your cupboard. The important thing is to start somewhere and build your supplies up until you’ve assembled the best emergency food kit you can. You might start by viewing the Wise Food Buckets on sale.
Please get the essential information on preparing for disasters beforehand.
How Much Survival Food Should You Buy?
Do you have children in the house? Teens? Older or elderly adults? Infants will require special feeding accommodations like milk or formula, while the elderly may have unique nutritional needs. For instance, map out who you’re building a food supply for on paper and any particular things you need to prepare for yourself. Additionally, consider what it takes to feed that person daily when looking at your food supplies for emergencies.
What Do They Like To Eat? Wise Food Buckets for Long Term Storage has many options.
There’s no need to live on only rice and beans for a month. In addition, you don’t want to stock up on three months’ worth of food that your family won’t touch with a six-foot pole just because it was cheap. Moreover, It may keep you alive in a pinch, but you want to enjoy it. So, take the likes and dislikes into consideration as you plan. Remember to consider food allergies, as well. In an emergency, you wouldn’t want to face an allergic reaction from cross-contamination, so it is better to avoid problem foods altogether, if possible.
Types Of Emergency Rations – Emergency Food Kits
There are dozens of ways to build up a great emergency food kit. Of course, it is not the least expensive; investing in commercially prepared emergency rations that various companies offer is the easiest. Wise Food Buckets are the best-tasting survival food kits with a wide variety and the perfect option for long term food storage. Which food supplies for emergencies are best for each situation?
Stock Up on Grocery Store – Survival Food Buckets Plus & Home Supplies
In addition, another method requiring a little planning and management is taking what you buy and use every week and building up a supply that will last. If you ordinarily use three cans of beans, two boxes of mac ‘n’ cheese, and a jar of peanut butter each week, begin buying double that and set the extra aside for your emergency food kit. Then, manage your stock by rotating it so your food stays as fresh as possible. Freshness would be a significant advantage in a long term disaster, where you rely on your emergency food rations for months or even years.
Once you’ve built up a few months’ food supplies, organize your cans and boxes with the soonest expiration date in the front and the furthest out in the back. Then, when you do your grocery shopping, put the new stuff in the back and use it from the front. This keeps your stock fresh and ready to use if and when needed. Work is involved in this process, but if you would rather, we take on the burden of purchasing long term food buckets and forgetting about them for twenty-five years. You can buy the Foods for Survival buckets on sale here.
Do It Yourself Survival Food
Similarly, home canning is another less expensive way to build up your emergency food kit. Canning is becoming a lost art, so you’re not alone if you must learn how to do it. Canning food in glass jars requires a little learning and effort but can allow you to preserve tasty, homemade food for years. Could you be sure to learn which foods need pressure cooking versus water-bathing preservation methods? Adequately canned goods keep best in cool, dark places between 50 and 70 *F (10 – 21 *C) and are safe to eat for years after canning. Again, this is time-consuming, and paying attention to doing it right is necessary. Survival buckets of food are a more straightforward approach to survival food storage. The kits simplify everything. In addition, you may want to consider doing both.
For dry bulk goods intended for long term food storage, wheat, beans, rice, sugar, and other dry goods can be vacuum sealed and stored in five-gallon buckets with O2 absorbers to last for years. A few buckets of wheat and corn will go a long way toward peace of mind for the genuinely prepared-minded. Coupled with some long term food storage buckets for variety and prepared meals, this could be a good strategy if there is no gas or electricity.
Vacuum Sealer for Long Term Storage
Comparatively, A vacuum sealer is a good investment for anyone serious about their emergency rations. Sealing foods in smaller quantities preserves them longer and allows you to use them a little at a time, rather than using a large container quickly once you’ve opened it.
Please remember this story if you’re worried about the expiration date on store-bought canned goods. A steamboat named Bertrand was trying to reach Montana in 1865 when it sank to the bottom of the Missouri River. One hundred years later, canned goods from that wreck were recovered. In 1974, 109 years after the accident, the food was tested by chemists and found safe to eat. It would help to use good sense when eating canned foods that have passed expiration dates. Don’t eat it if it looks odd, smells bad, or tastes terrible!
Wise’s food storage buckets take all the work and guessing out of the equation. Again, possibly doing both might be an excellent way to go.
Signs That The Food In Your Emergency Food Kit Has Gone Bad
Signs canned goods have gone bad: the can is bulging, or the lid has come unsealed. Also, please check for mold or fermentation bubbles in the liquid. If the food rushes out of the can or jar when you open it, don’t use it. This is a good indication of the bacterial activity, causing a chemical reaction.
To repeat, the ease of Wise Food Storage Buckets for preparedness solves this problem should it occur. Again, you should do both so there is a backup plan.
Different Survival Foods
Once you’ve established a good base for emergency rations, consider adding comfort foods to your store. We all turn to food for comfort in stressful situations, and yummy food might be challenging in a disaster. Some things to store include:
• Mac n’ cheese is best preserved dried by separating the noodles and cheese and then vacuum sealing them with O2 absorbers. It can be canned if you’re worried about cooking macaroni and cheese, but it won’t have the same texture as freshly made. Undercooking the noodles before canning will help them to be less mushy.
• Honey – Made with natural preservatives, honey will stay indefinitely if water never gets near it. Store in very clean, dehydrated glass jars. If it crystallizes, you can return it to its liquid state with some heat.
• Freeze-dried or dehydrated fruit can be a great energy booster and keep well when stored properly.
• Coconut oil, especially virgin coconut oil, will be stored for a long time and provide added fat for comforting recipes when butter isn’t available.
• Spices – if you get to a place where you have to make all of your food from what you have on hand, you’ll be delighted for some extra spices to spice things up.
• Alcohol – It is a comforting item, but it serves many purposes in a disaster scenario and keeps well. High alcohol content (over 20%) will keep the longest, and over 40% can serve as a disinfectant if needed.
• Tea – keeps well without special accommodations. Store it in small quantities with an O2 absorber to keep it fresh.
• Coffee – Coffee will be an essential part of the best emergency food kit for those who need their cuppa to keep their chin up. Roasted coffee keeps vacuum-sealed in Mylar bags for up to two years. If you rotate it through your emergency rations, you will have good coffee for some time. For preparation beyond that, you can store green coffee beans in Mylar bags with O2 absorbers, then roast and grind them as needed.
What To Choose for Your Survival Kit?
How to decide what goes into the very best emergency food kit? A good rule of thumb is six months to a year of food you eat daily. Not only is this easily managed through good shopping and rotation, but For preparation beyond that time frame, vacuum-sealed Mylar bags will keep dry goods for years. Many companies and faith-based family preparation programs offer dry goods preserved in #10 cans that will last 25 years. Building an emergency food kit that can last several years in a pinch is possible with planning and forethought.
Water Storage for Survival
Water will be critical to surviving certain types of disaster scenarios. One liter of water per person daily is a good starting point when planning for emergencies. You’ll need some extra for sanitation and cooking, as well. Do you have plenty of water or a way to obtain and sanitize water? Sanitation tablets and filtration systems would be a significant component of the best emergency food kit.
Looking Ahead in Preparation
Thinking ahead about food preparation during an emergency is essential for total preparedness. If the power was out for three weeks, how would you cook that mac ‘n’ cheese you took such care to store? Even if you have a power generator for emergencies, stoves and microwaves pull too much energy to use the generator for cooking. A propane or butane camp stove with plenty of fuel cells or a propane or charcoal grill are great options to have on hand. And remember to include a manual can opener in your emergency food kit.
Would you happen to know where to keep survival food buckets?
Storage space can be tricky, depending on your housing situation. You’ll want to designate a perfectly organized room specifically for food storage if you don’t mind. You’ll label your shelves and keep things nicely stocked and rotated. If you don’t live in this fairy tale situation, you may have to get more creative about storing your emergency food kit. Many foods can be neatly stored in cardboard boxes, under beds, in the bottoms or tops of closets, and under the stairs. You may need to reduce unnecessary clutter to make room for emergency rations. The reward will be worth the effort.
Be Prepared, Not Scared
Please take the steps needed to create the best emergency food kit that you can pay off in peace of mind. Knowing that you can care for those you love and be able to reach out to those around you in their time of need will put you in a category reserved for just a few. You’ll rest easy at night, knowing that your family is provided for whatever tomorrow holds.
Buy some Long term Storage food to supplement your home supply today.
